Every time I set out to start a new project I go through 3 phases:
Excitement – Thrilled to realize the potential of the new project I can’t wait to get started
Accountability – I take whatever steps I need to get started and make sure I do them right
Exhaustion – I lose steam and come up with whatever reason I can to put it off until later
If you’re like me, once you reach exhaustion you probably feel disappointed in yourself and it makes you question every decision you’ve ever made.
I have only one choice, and that’s to develop discipline. If I could, I would hire someone to tell me to get to work and belittle me for making excuses, but I don’t have the money for that. Instead, I’m going to create that person in my head and every time I find myself slowing down, remember to make that guy scream at me.
Curse of multiple interests
Too Much to Handle
I might have too many things going on to give each of them the attention it deserves. I’ve been like this my entire life, and I’ve always been convinced it’s a flaw but I’m not so certain it is anymore.
I like being able to switch gears in any given day from studying to writing to playing guitar to skating to building websites to drawing to stretching and so on. Should I give priority to just one thing for the majority of the day? Maybe, but I get bored of one thing quick, even if I’m super excited about it.
This blog is something that I know is important. One day I will look back at all my posts and feel like I had contributed my voice in a time where it’s important to have one, but something still holds me back from getting on my laptop and just writing:
Lack of Discipline
In order for me to get in a flow state where I’m writing a blog I need to wait for this inner voice to say, “Hey let’s write about this today.” But sometimes that voice gets drowned out by procrastination and that is an internal conflict.
My work ethic slips away as time passes only to be resuscitated by my guilt of procrastinating. Can I skip that odd mental torture I submit to? Well, if I had discipline I’d be a little more aware of it, and for the sake of bypassing that mental torture, this blog post that I’m writing at this second serves as a reminder to self discipline.
Peaks and valleys
What to Remember
Life is a series of peaks and valleys or waves however you want to picture that. Knowing the excitement of the peak is eventually followed by the low of the valley prepares you for how to behave when you’re either on the peak or in the valley. When I’m on the peak I need to remind myself of the nature of waves, and to work hard while I’m in that flow state. When I’m in the valley, I need to embrace its presence and remember the peak is coming. Am I in a valley right now as I’m writing this? Feels like it, but writing this is helping me find the base of that next peak to climb.
Have any advice for self discipline? Leave a comment below or reach out to me on instagram @kyleknob
So much happened in this year so far that 2020 will forever be remembered as the worst year to date in the 21st century, but I’m not just a pessimist. I’m an optimist too.
I’m hopeful that consciousness is enveloping the generation, as love makes it’s self the only obvious alternative to hate.
I’m hopeful that the truth will rise to the surface and we can understand it and work toward building communities that thrive.
In a world where technology is centralized there is no doubt that its power will be abused. Whether it’s Facebook, Twitter, Google or Amazon or the advent of A.I., the future of centralized technology in the hands of an authoritarian government is not so hopeful.
Censored for your protection
However, the progress blockchain technology has made with Bitcoin leading the way has shown that not only can alternative systems be designed, but they can be implemented and impossible for any government to stop. The creation of DeFi itself is a huge milestone for cryptocurrencies. We are looking at the take over of banking, governing, and voting, all done on a blockchain.
The creation of the tools of the future are at a precipice. On one hand, the centralized entities have complete control of our lives with fear of the virus and their development of a Central Bank Digital Currency.
On the other hand, we have decentralized technology that can offer you exponentially higher annual profits on your savings, a governing system that can do what Uber did to Taxis, and a voting tool for us all to participate simply and fairly.
As much hopelessness as there is in the world surrounding the globalist agenda, the end of cash, the personal taxation of carbon, the closing of businesses, and the lost of jobs and homes, there will always be a silver lining.
What is the silver lining?
Well you can change and do better. We all can do better, and we must if we want to move forward as the United States of America and not the Red and Blue States of America. I trust you’ll be better because now in hindsight, we aren’t doing so good. Swallow your pride, recognize your outrageous ego demons, and be helpful.
It’s not a coincidence that I write about learning computer programming, and think about programming in a traditional sense. Maybe what I’m learning will help me better demonstrate the similarity between programming mobile applications to increase productivity and programming childhoods to be self-conscious consuming adults.
On all sides of the social economic and political spectrums you’ll find acute evidence of bias, ignorance or lack of empathy, yes even you and me. I’m assuming my reader is aware of this already so that I don’t sound outrageous. If you’re thinking to yourself, “I’m not ignorant”, well you’re being ignorant because even the oldest gurus know that they don’t know.
“I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.”
Socrates
Let It Go
I couldn’t wait to grow up, big mistake.
When we’re 3 years old we are free to be as we are. A child who in one minute will experience bliss in a puddle of water will then scream and cry the next minute for getting too wet. We played outside in the grass with nothing more than our imaginations and threw around our toys for no good reason. The point I’m getting at is that when we’re in our parents care, before public schooling, we’re encouraged to express ourselves, laugh, live, & love (if you’re lucky) like that cliche plaque that’s out there being sold for $20.
As soon as we turn 5 or 6 years old kindergarten begins, and so does the degradation of self expression and the institution of conformity. Well, that’s what it seems like now looking back, but when you’re unaware of it as a child or a parent it’s an exciting new adventure into forming social skills, friends, education and well, a test of performance.
Is that a prison or a school? Switch some letters up and change the color of the bus
In my opinion public schooling is like rolling the dice on childhood development. Hope you roll snake eyes, anything else, you could end up with a variety of strange outcomes. I get it though, the system is set up where parents work 9 – 5, so school is like a free day care, and you didn’t turn out so bad right? As the parent, it’s your job to encourage self expression, discipline selfishness, and guide them however you see fit, which is the most important job any human can have, but that all translates into programming. Here’s a good opportunity to compare computer programming to childhood programming, but I’ll let you imagine the similarities.
It’s By Design
Pay close attention to nothing on the T.V.
There’s a reason it’s called Television Programming. We use to refer to the TV Guide as the program before the streaming boom, even before my time. It’s no mistake that today, kids are glued to screens, waiting at bus stops for a school whose art and music program is a thing of the past, and punishes them for “acting out.”
Whether we acknowledge the education system as a design for productivity or a design for conformity there remains one constant: it’s illegal to not show up.
“Typically, children must start school by the age of six and remain enrolled until they are at least 16. These laws were put in place not only to improve literacy rates but also to discourage the widespread child labor practices of the 19th and early 20th centuries.”
Fast forward to your twenties after high school, maybe you’ve taken psychedelics or haven’t been brave enough yet, but you at least tried to smoke weed. Maybe you’re well read and had studied philosophy and had begun to strip away some of the layers of institutionalism you had previously followed without question.
Once you begin to unravel the fabric of society, the hierarchy, the political system, and the corporate structures, you get into the habit of peeling back the layers or falling down the rabbit hole.”Where’s this rabbit going?”, “What’s the reason for this law?”, “What’s the reason for money?”, “What’s the point of life?” All these questions allow you to seek answers, and they’re important to the deprogramming of childhood trauma you had no choice but to interfere with. Whether you want to admit it as traumatic or just unfortunate events is up to you, but whether you realize it or not, your childhood is something you still carry around with you today, good or bad.
“They hate you if you’re clever and they despise a fool.”
Whether you’re scared to accept truth that’s uncomfortable for you to handle or ignore evidence to remain blissfully ignorant is your choice. I love that cliche, “you can take a horse to water but you can’t make him drink it.” Sometimes cliches are the best way to make a point, and the point is, do us a favor, drink the water. You might feel feelings you’d rather avoid, but you’ll be aware of the truth.
Bill of Right or Temporary Privileges?
They Don’t Care About Us
“I’m tired of bein’ the victim of hate. You’re rippin’ me of my pride, oh, for God’s sake. I look to heaven to fulfill this prophecy”
Sometimes a song is the best way to get a point across too. The message is clear through out all music and that’s why I’m working on a collection of artists that have been an archetype of truth called “Proof of Truth.” It’s important that we remember these truths so I’m gathering all my favorite works and quotes to share with you, but for now, go listen to that Michael Jackson song.
I’ll end this programming article with a glimmer of hope. Even though 100% of the people around you are programmed, not all of that programming is bad, and there are ways to reprogram our minds. For instance, meditation is a great practice to reprogram our trigger mechanisms, but if you want a shortcut, take some mushrooms with an experienced friend in a safe setting. The reprogramming experiments you do on your own mind can be dangerous, so don’t go blaming this author on your newly found psychosis, take it easy, breathe and be nice to people.
If you want to chime in please feel free, leave a comment below or reach out to me on Instagram @kyleknob
It’s like a larger than life outdated computer running an old OS
The system is broke, you know it, I know it, we all know it, yet we continue feeding into the very thing that is keeping us down. I’m not trying to point out something that’s hard to find, it’s more obvious than ever. What is it going to take to change? A few things, but first we must get our priorities straight.
If money is the only language they speak, then you better learn all about the language.
Priority 1: Eliminate Frivolous Expenses
Entertainment, eating out, gas, energy bills, and vacation are variables that fluctuate your checking account statement. Whatever you can cut out, cut out. The reason I’m telling you this is because we don’t really consider these expenses as draining, rather we think of them as essential. If you’re on the protest tip, which if you’re reading this blog you must be, or just a very well read hater, then you should try to pin point what is distracting you from your goals and prioritize accordingly. You need Netflix, Amazon, and Hulu subscriptions? Probably not. Can you spend less on food? Maybe. Can you run your air conditioning unit less? If you live in LA it’s probably impossible but you could. You get the point.
Priority 2: What are you investing in?
I’m saving up enough cash and dollar cost averaging into digital assets to hopefully get me ahead in the coming years. I’m investing in my self by learning how to program mobile apps, becoming part owner of an herbal supplement brand PlantsBasically, starting this blog, expanding readySketch, and starting a podcast.
I’m being very ambitious with my self because I know that investing in myself is the single most important investment I can make.
Same goes for you, what can you bring to your audience or your work place, that will allow you to become successful in your own way? Let’s face it, no one wants you to succeed at what you do, they hope you fail so that you can make room for them to succeed. Push through the criticism, the insecurity and be vulnerable.
Priority 3: What is your goal?
This has become a blog post about personal strength, but maybe that’s not a coincidence that personal strength is considered a protest. Let’s face it you can not go out and change the entire world by holding a sign on the street that reads, ‘No Justice, No Peace.’ There’s a point where you are just repeating a phrase like a wind up toy and no one cares or even understands what you mean. My goal is to build up my businesses enough to allow me to live on land that I own with friends I love in a technologically sustainable way. That means, solar passive housing, homesteading, gardening, hunting, foraging the whole nine yards. I want my expenses to be cut down far more than they are now and have more income to travel and live the life I want. How do I get there? Well I got to have a plan.
You fail and fail and fail until you get it right.
Priority 4: Make a plan
My plan involves saving, investing, building brands, and educating myself. It took a pandemic for me to understand what I needed to do to get to where I wanted to go. I call this the pandemic effect, where I was faced with my mortality, so much so that I feared for my life. I didn’t want to see my girlfriend, I didn’t want to go to work, I was a victim of the fear surrounding the virus. I’ve grown past it and learned a lot since the initial headlines, but it rattled me. This survival instinct went into full effect. For the first time in my life I realized how easy it is for it all to be taken from you. Remembering you are not infinite and that you will one day leave behind just a story of you really kicks planning into overdrive. This is when I knew that I can not rely on the grocery store, the job, the gas stations, and the almighty dollar for security. This will not last forever, and I want to be ready when it collapses.
Priority 5: Do the work
You can get all the way up to the planning stage and just give up, realizing that you just don’t have it in you to continue to do the work day after day. It’s so easy to just sit on the couch, drink a beer, tell yourself you had a hard day, and turn on the T.V. I’m sure your day was hard, but let’s face it, it wasn’t 1920’s depression hard or 1700’s witch trial hard, it’s just hard compared to what you see on television and on the internet. People live kush lives online don’t they? Influencers that never did a day of hard work making millions shaking their asses for a McDonalds endorsement or whatever. Stop comparing yourself to others, and just start a habit of doing the work necessary to get you to where you’re going.
Priority 6: Positive reinforcements
When I’m fed up with all the stuff I have to do, and I just want to sink into my bed and watch an episode of The Simpsons, instead I put on something that will reinforce my work ethic. Maybe listen to something Gary Vee has to say about putting out content, or Seth Godin on marketing, or hell, even Ram Dass on experiencing all the love around you not as separate from the world but of it. There is an endless database of positive reinforcements that live on the internet at your fingertips that will keep you motivated in what you are doing. Digest great quality content, do not feed into the “I’m feeling sorry for myself” narrative our brains want to so quickly resort to when things get tough.
I’m tired of seeing all of these large corporations being propped up by billions of tax payer dollars during economic recessions. You’d think we should’ve had our revolution already. You know why we hadn’t? We have not yet put a finger on what to do otherwise. We keep looking up to our political mothers and fathers for permission to eat, breathe and sleep. How will we be able to get our point through the heads of our theatrical political show runners? Good question, my advice, do your best to not have to rely on them. Seek alternatives to the dollar, seek alternatives to traditional health care, seek alternatives to energy consumption and finally seek alternatives to the mainstream narrative of polarity amongst citizens. We all forget the truth too easily, and that’s I Am The Walrus or “I am you, you are me, and we are all together.”
First of all congratulations, you reached a stage where insecurity is king and your main focuses are getting laid and partying, but you’re also going to have to find a job if you want to buy a car, beer or drugs.
I got a truck when I was 17.
You’re 13 you don’t really know what lies ahead, but you’re still kind of anxious to get older so you can get a license and eventually a job because Mom and Dad can’t afford all of that and your dinner, so wise up, the freedom of childhood is fleeting.
In 7th grade I was 12 and was instructed to write a letter to my future self 5 years down the road and when I graduated high school I’d receive it in the mail. I wish I remembered how that worked, it was a cool project. Anyway, I do remember how exciting it was to read it when I was 17 graduating high school. I was telling myself that I better be still skating and be sponsored or something like that and then I’d be disappointed if I had stopped.
I wrote this to my future self, of course I kept it in my important box.
I didn’t stop skating and I was sponsored at the time by Supra, Krew and Foundation. It felt like I was achieving my dream, but it’s a shame that you can’t do the opposite, write to your past self, though impossible, it would be tremendously useful. So instead of trying to break the space time continuum laws I’ll just write to you, the young teenage kid who would give a shit about their finances enough to read a blog about it.
Let’s call money what it really is, a freedom score. The higher the score, the more freedom you have. Once you understand this you’ll want a high score.
Let’s break this down in 4 steps:
Step 1
Save 10% or more of your income every pay period.
If you get paid $200 a week save $20 or more if you can, and don’t spend it. You’re at the very beginning of your journey to own assets that will make you rich, but let’s really talk about what being rich means. Being rich means having enough money coming in every month to cover all of your expenses and the freedom of never going into work again. There’s a few ways for you to get there, but the most easy to understand is buying a house, and though you’re young and buying a house seems so far out right now, every penny you save will make it that much easier to get one, and that much sooner to freedom.
If you save $250 a month for 10 years, you’ll have $30,000
If you’ve played Monopoly then you understand the value of houses. When someone lands on the property, or wants to rent a room in your house or the entire thing, the more money goes into your pocket. The median household cost in America is about $300,000, you need anywhere between 10% – 30% to get the house, so at least $30,000 to cover all these costs that you can’t even think of, you’d believe they were just making them up. As soon as you get a house though you can start renting, the more rooms or the more houses you have, the more money you will have to cover the cost of the monthly mortgage plus funny money. I’m sure you can imagine the domino effect, easy pickings if you got the down payment.
Step 2
Make high risk, high reward investments.
When you’re young you can afford to throw a few hundred dollars at some risky investments because the potential of return on those investments is really high. For example, a few years ago Tesla (TSLA) was considered a risky investment because it was new tech, could it have failed? Sure, but did those who threw some money at it in those early years cash out big? Yes. Another example was Netflix, that too shot up over the years. My point is, when you’re younger you can afford to take a risk with some investments that might tank because you have time to recover what you lose. My advice though is to invest in things you use, like if you have an iPhone, invest in Apple. If you have Netflix invest in that, or if you really want a Tesla but can’t afford one, buy a share. If you want to play it safe with your investment portfolio then maybe buy stocks that pay out dividends. You can run a quick Google search on stocks that pay you money to hold them, one of these is Coca Cola. These ‘blue chip’ stocks as they call them, are usually companies that have been around for like 100 years like Johnson & Johnson, they are relatively ‘safe’ investments that we think will continue to appreciate over time.
You might be wondering how you’re going to afford to invest and save at the same time with your low income job. Well, if you have to choose between saving and investing what feels more comfortable to you? You won’t go wrong saving, and you can lose it all if you invest in shitty companies or if the economy collapses.
Investing is an art, saving is a discipline.
Do one or the other or do both. This is your choice, but since I’m talking to my teenage self, I would say do both, if you have to save 5% of your weekly pay and invest 5% do that, but more is better.
Make calculated risks, and don’t risk what you can’t afford to lose.
Another high risk high reward investment is in crypto currency. If I didn’t mention that in this blog article I’d be keeping you in the dark. This sector of digital finance is revolutionary and can potentially make you a millionaire by the time you’re 20. People are comparing crypto related investments to the dot com bubble of the late 1990’s – 2000’s. The people who were early to buy domains made millions, just like the people who invested early into Bitcoin and held onto it made millions, and it’s not too late still, because mass adoption has not happened yet. I will go into different crypto projects in another blog post, but this blog wouldn’t be complete without mentioning crypto. My advice though is to dollar cost average in. That means every week or every month buy $5 – $10 of Bitcoin, you won’t regret it.
Create a YouTube channel telling people about the things you know about. If you’re into skating, think of some content you can post that other people would be into. The idea here is build an audience that cares about what content you produce. It may seem like no one cares at first, but if you’re doing it consistently for a few years you’ll be surprised at how many people follow you and you’ll be surprised at how much money you could be making because of that. YouTube pays you if you have enough subscribers and if you have enough followers on any channel you’ll find ways to get paid by promoting product or getting sponsorship or what not. This is a long game to play before you see reward, but if you need a constructive hobby, I suggest building out a channel with consistent content, you never know.
Step 4
Learn a useful skill that can’t be replaced by robots or A.I.
It’s important to remember that whatever you’re passionate about learning is going to be your career ultimately. If you’re like me and really into graphic design you’ll make as many things as you can in Photoshop and learn along the way doing so, but whether you’re into computer services like design, development, or programming or carpentry or plumbing or what have you, and you focus on being great at it, you’ll be well prepared for getting a high paying job.
Obviously, there are some other things you can get into to make a buck as a teenager, but you also have to save time for just being a teenager and don’t stress about the economy collapsing and putting all your money into gold, silver or bitcoin to save yourself from hyperinflation and the collapse of the dollar. Go make plenty of bad choices so you know how to make good choices in the future, you’re still a kid and you should be reckless, but try to understand this system like you would a video game.
Money is a game, learn to play it. Understand basic math.
Money is a freedom score, the more you have the more time you will have in the future to go out and be reckless again, because let’s face it, you’re childhood is stripped from you to work 8 hours a day to pay taxes to the man, no other real important reason.
You are on a human farm and just like a cow get’s milked, you’re being milked for the money you make.
Save money, invest, create and learn forever, you’ll be thankful you do when you’re 30. If you have any questions leave a comment below or reach out to me on Instagram @kyleknob.
I started a blog, obviously, but it’s weird telling my friends that I’m writing blog posts that I expect people to read. It’s like baking enough cookies for a party of 12, but it’s just you and me. I made too many cookies, or did I?
Guess I’m gonna just have to eat all of these
I’m telling people I’m starting a blog because I think it’s great practice to articulate my thoughts, but if I may go deeper then that, it’s because I can communicate through my higher self.
Everyone Has A Higher Self
I’m not talking about my high self, when I smoke a bunch of weed and forget the sentence I just thought up, I’m referring to the subconscious. The elusive part of myself that is always retrieving data, storing it and guiding my intuition or my better nature. Not everyone’s subconscious is the same, so before you roll your eyes and think I’m just spouting out bull shit in my new blog I want to say that it’s a real guiding consciousness in our lives that we hardly are in contact with.
Writing Puts Me In Contact With The Gods
Thank you for this flow
That sounds extreme, and it’s meant to, because well I’m writing a blog and I’m expecting you to be this far along and still holding your attention. However, if you’ve got an open mind, then you can imagine what I mean. The more freely you articulate your thoughts on paper or in a digital note pad, the more fluid wisdom just pours out. It’s almost like you’re accessing a part of your brain that you in 99% of your day you completely ignore. When I sit down and start to write about anything, I begin to type through this person that is talking to me, my conscious every day self.
Kyle Meet Kyle
We are constantly receiving information from all around us, like an antenna tuned into to a radio station. I believe that when I begin writing, I’m tuning the dial to this subconscious Kyle that doesn’t bother with greetings, it’s just like, “Duh, where have you been? You should go for a walk.”
I’m happy that I can talk through you Kyle, and I’m excited that I can wrap my mind around what this is now, I will go for a walk, thanks.
Go for a walk.
Be A Subscriber
I’m not shy like I used to be, so I’m going to directly ask you to subscribe to this blog. It’s full of important Me stuff, and information that you might be able to get some use out of as I continue to write.
I want to close this by saying that in order for me to keep this blog going, I’m going to have to remember one thing. Do not write for an audience, write for yourself. This is a blog intended for the conscious Kyle you see walking around society, skating down the street, playing a tune on a guitar. That Kyle needs some guidance and reassurance that he is on the right track, and to just relax, don’t stress, breathe, and make some damn money so you can get the hell out of Los Angeles already!
Thanks for being a subscriber, if you have any comments leave them below, I know you have to have Facebook to leave a comment, so if you’re against Facebook, send me a DM on Instagram (A Facebook Company) @kyleknob or on Twitter @kylesshortcuts, thank you.
Like you, I thought about all the dangers of traveling before I made my decision to get on a plane. So this is how I made my decision. Like all big decisions I weigh the pros and cons. In my case, I was offered a free flight from Los Angeles to Philadelphia to go to Woodward Skate Camp with my good friends at Dogwood Skateshop. What that meant to me was fresh air, a break from reality, and a very cost effective trip. I compared all these great things to the pandemic.
Pros & Cons
I don’t think anyone can tell you how to make a decision to travel, but it is your responsibility to feel like whatever your decision you make is the right one. There are some reasons why you shouldn’t travel, like if you are a naturally anxious person about your health, or you’re a hypochondriac. In this case I recommend you stay home if you’re just going to stress about covid the entire plane ride. However, if you’re a little worried but think that your trip will alleviate some stress then go somewhere relaxing. The chances of you catching covid if you’re a relatively healthy person and you take as many precautions as you can, are slim.
A lot of the fear surrounding covid is toxic and is causing way too much stress which actually inhibits your immune system.
Breathe through your nose deeply.
Prioritize Relaxation
Vitamin D is so key.
Unless of course you are traveling because of an emergency, make sure you’re getting enough time to relax out in the sun. The sun should be one of your priorities, take your shirt off, soak in as much Vitamin D from the sun that you can without burning of course. Your immune system will thank you. Breathe in some fresh air too and drink some clean water. Remember the elements: Earth, Wind, Fire and Water. Put your feet in some soil, breathe fresh mountain air, soak in some warm sunshine, and drink some fresh spring water. Visit findaspring.com to see where your nearest spring is at. Not that I went and got spring water on this trip, but I wish I did, I just drank plastic bottled water. I don’t know what’s worse, plastic bottled water or tap water?
Be Grateful for What You Can Do
In the end, this trip is about getting out of your routine and being with friends. This is such a strange uncertain time that I can’t really be certain if I can have many more of these trips, I don’t like to think too dismally, but it’s hard to know for sure, so cherish what you have right now, and what you can do. Flights are cheap, if you’re far from your family and your friends go visit them, tell them you love them, because you don’t know if you’ll ever get the chance to do that in person again. Be safe and be prepared for any scenario. If you have comments, want to call me an idiot or something, leave them below or reach out to me on Instagram @kyleknob.
Lot’s of the artists I admire have one thing in common: they all have their own unique style. Think about that, every artist that you look up to has very little resemblance to any other artist in their space, but yet I’m trying to be more like Warhol or Bowie or something.
Making Art Is Over Rated
What to make?
When I do my best work, I’m not telling myself, I’m going to make art today. I’m letting myself succumb to the emotions I’m undergoing at that moment. My emotional state at any given moment translates through the art I’m making. So I’m not consciously telling myself to go make art, I’m allowing my emotions to be constructed into whatever medium I choose. So don’t make art, be aware of your emotional state and translate it. Don’t let that confuse you, I’m not saying don’t make art, I’m saying, make art that means something to you, not to who ever your potential audience is.
The Difference Between Potential and Perfection
When I have a new idea in my head I envision it being flawless, and my expectation is set so high that when I start on that project I’m struggling with what I can physically create compared to what I’m mentally picturing. This expectation is the killer of creativity, I’ll stop myself right in my tracks after undoing one line I drew 3 times.
Through years of dealing with these high expectations I’ve become so aware of the mental torture it causes that I just started drawing in whatever style comes naturally out of my untrained hand. The act of letting go is a spiritual practice, and before I start boring you with some spiritual reading I want to say that many of our expectations are built in the version of you that presents itself to others, or the ego. Once you can realize you have no control over how others view you, the creative mind opens up like a flower in spring.
Let it go, you’re not anyone but you.
Your potential is not measurable, and perfection though it seems possible is never achieved. The sooner you can accept this, the more you will allow your creativity to run through you like the blood in your veins.
Overcoming Criticism
I will always be talking about overcoming criticism as an exercise to overcome it myself. Writing these blogs actually help me more than you think. I’m telling myself, “This is a practice of becoming more honest with myself and more open with others.”
You won’t be able to turn off the fear of showing your own art to someone, but you can learn to dance with it. I love this term coined by Seth Godin, the marketing guru.
Dance with your fear, don’t run from it.
The idea is that the fear your feeling comes from part of your brain that is there to save us from being injured or killed in the wild by maybe a bear or a mammoth or something, but in this modern age where fear presents itself before public speaking or in this case sharing your art with a group or a friend, there’s no life threatening risks. Your brain might be making you feel like there are, but you’re misinterpreting what it’s trying to tell you. It’s saying, you’re uncertain of what’s about to happen because it might make you uncomfortable.
Fear of Being Uncomfortable
You’re debilitating fear of being uncomfortable is controlling your progression. We all have dreams of becoming successful at what we love to do, and only some of us will make it according to how willing we are to be uncomfortable. Your progression really relies on listening to your brain when it feels scared and having the ability to tell it,
“Thanks for the alarm I will do exactly what you’re trying to prevent me from doing.”
I hope that after reading this you got some insight on how to be more creative. It’s not so hard but it’s a practice that I wish I started when I first began creating art. I still struggle with my creativity and you will too. This is just a reminder to you that everyone deals with the trouble of accessing their true style, techniques or voice. The great harbinger of art is listening to your fears and understanding how it corresponds with your ego. Until you find a good relationship with yourself and truly love your mistakes, you will be blocking the emotion needed to progress as a unique artist.
I’m on this journey for freedom, a lot like the epic tales I’ve heard of people escaping war torn lands across the world to come to America or something, but this is a more modern version of those stories. I’m seeking freedom in many alternative ways, like many of my friends are. I’ll start with financial freedom.
As soon as I get my bag, I’m fleeing LA
Financial Freedom
All of us have a relationship with money and if you’re like me, you’re so tired of hearing anything about investing, career paths, or the future of retirement. I told myself to live in the moment, focus on what I need now, and not dwell on where I’m at 40-50 years from now. Until the pandemic hit, I was riding this wave that was never going to crash into the shore, but that all changed.
This wave won’t crash.
The Pandemic Effect
When my brother was laid off from his work as a chef and I started to work from home, a profound sense of fragility weighed over us. I’m speaking of the uncertainty of employment, how extremely reliant I am on my job to pay me well enough to eat, pay rent, drive a car, and be connected to the internet. The alarm was going off in my head, “I’m not equipped to handle a catastrophe.”
I work in design and have the good fortune of being able to work from home, but my brother and roommate, is relying on unemployment to get him through this time. When “The News” said they were going to slash unemployment benefits by $600, it got real worrisome. At the time of writing this I think more than 30 million Americans are unemployed. That’s around 530 Dodger stadiums filled with people relying on benefits that are now cut, possibly losing homes and businesses with families to feed and debts to pay.
What the pandemic showed me was how incredibly vulnerable my life is. I’m so grateful to have done this and that in my past that brought me to this and that right now, however I’m still worried and I still can afford groceries!
These aren’t cheap.
I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to learn how others are making money online, working from anywhere so that I’m financially reliant on my capabilities not someone else’s. I need to try new things and make calculated business decisions that can get a product that’s in demand on the market and sell it, how to take an app idea, learn to develop it, and monetize it (readySketch), how to write quality content to drive readers to this blog, how to be myself in front of the camera to teach the skills I have in design, photo and video, and how to communicate my vision of the future that so many of my friends are striving toward, an off the grid, sustainable homestead.
Should I be doing this?
Freedom from Self Criticism
Up until now I ridiculed people for being personalities on YouTube or shooting selfies because of my own insecurities. A lot of us use our own insecurities to put someone down for doing something we wouldn’t do ourselves. I had a lot of self reflecting I’ve done because of the Pandemic Effect, so I needed to explore what I could possibly offer to you, the reader, that drives value to my content, and it was easy.
I need to share with you my gifts of what I’ve learned in my unique circumstances, in my own way that differs from how others are sharing their gifts. Embarking on this comes with facing my fears of being on camera, being read enough, being important enough, being successful or disciplined, having a worthy point of view, being knowledgable enough, etc. There’s too many insecurities to name, and I’m certain I’m suppressing more than that.
Getting Over “It”
I’m having a difficult time actually making the transition from work and procrastination to work and progressive action. I need to make the time if I am serious, and I am. I believe that I’ve ridden these waves far too long to not know how this current of mind flows. Discipline is key to the success of any project or business, and jeez, I lack it so badly.
This is a much better use of my time.
Acknowledging you have a problem is the first step to solving that problem. I am a procrastinator. The discipline must first be enforced by myself, and I must trust this “higher self” that wants only the best of me, to guide me along on this uncertain, bumpy, exciting journey to financial freedom.
Techniques to Practice Discipline
I’ve added a reminder to my calendar. You can do that right now, open your calendar app on your device and schedule something you want to remind yourself to do every day or every Monday (you got to ease yourself into it) and when that reminder pops up you’ll remember to get to work, or if you’re like me you’ll follow it for a few months and just ignore it for life until a pandemic or something catastrophic enough happens to eventually act on it.
Another technique I’ve heard I think actually comes from Jerry Seinfeld, but I was clued in on it by my app development instructor Angela. Everyday you accomplish 20 minutes of the goal you set or more, you draw a line through the date of that physical calendar. You might have to buy a desk calendar, but if you’re serious about discipline you might as well.
You’ll be so inclined to continue to draw that line through the days that no matter how much you feel like procrastinating, you’ll want to do at least 20 minutes to continue drawing that line through the month. I’m just starting to do that now, so I’m no seasoned veteran of this technique, it just sounds good.
I’m gonna achieve this goal, because this snake I’m drawing must not end.
Chasing Freedom Must Be Fun
For me, if it’s not fun I won’t bother learning or making anything, so in order to get things done I create the fun. I must, no matter how mundane and brain consuming the tasks are,
I must make fun of it some how, whether actually laughing at my own incompetence or just being absurdly creative with it.
Fun must be fuel to achieve great things. It’s what gave me all the skills I have now, and what will give me everything new I learn from here on out.
My advice to my younger self, or to you my reader, is to not allow your fear of being vulnerable to the public determine how you proceed through life. The people I admire are the most vulnerable, open, and disciplined people in the world. I will not get to achieve the freedom I seek by being afraid of my own insecurities. Don’t be sorry to anyone for who you are.
I hope that I can inspire you to follow your passions to fullest extent, I’m trying to inspire myself constantly. Remember to have fun, be resourceful, ask questions and be yourself. It’s easier said than done, but you will not be mad at yourself for trying, and if you’re disciplined and consistent, a few years from now writing blogs, making videos, learning new skills, you’ll be surprised by what you achieved.
If you want some help with your journey feel free to leave a comment below or reach out to me on Instagram @kyleknob
