Categories
Life Note to Self

How I Tested My Patience with an Organic Pool Build

Luci finding a place to pee near the edge of my pool.

In the Spring of 2021 I started digging a hole in the backyard of my newly purchased home in Running Springs, CA in hopes of building a glorious organic swimming pool, just like the one’s on David Pagan Butler’s YouTube channel, but smaller, 10’x 12′ to be exact. I dug until winter came, and when Spring of 2022 sprung, I was anxious to finish it, but I screwed up, twice.

Started digging.

Building an organic pool is actually not that hard, there’s just some stuff you need to know before you begin.

Like you, I’m drawn to swimming in fresh water or oceans more so than a chlorinated swimming pool and jacuzzi.

Maybe you don’t mind your skin absorbing the chemical concoction that keeps a typical household swimming pool ‘clean’, but I do, maybe I’m crazy.

With an organic pool, you’re basically building a pond but with no fish. Otherwise you’d be swimming in their poo. The plants you choose however will regulate the growth of algae and bacteria and the bubble pumps you install will add the oxygen and circulation needed to replicate a natural eco system that you’d find at a creek or lake.

Luci was so small.

With a shovel and a pick axe I dug a hole about 3.5 feet deep, like the shallow end of a swimming pool.

A lot of work actually.

I wanted the design to be like a bench inside the water so that when you’re sitting down the water would be up to your neck. The reason it is 10’x 12′ is because in my county, thats the maximum size you can build something without needing a permit. So it’s not a swimming pool, because it’s not big enough to swim around in, it’s just a pool big enough for a few friends to hang out in and cool off.

As soon as I finished digging my hole I had to level it out and build the perimeter walls with cinder blocks. I’ve done concrete work once before with my friend Jeremy. We built a DIY skate spot in Bristol, PA we called the REP215 spot. We made a quarter pipe and a few wild ledges out of concrete. He taught me how to mix concrete and lay blocks, but that was like 15 years ago so I was excited to see how this would turn out.

Leveling bricks.

At first though, I bought the wrong concrete. I bought the kind with rocks in it, not the mortar I actually needed for stacking cinder blocks. So I had to get another shipment of bags of mortar delivered from Lowe’s to the house, which I over estimated by a lot. If you need mortar and concrete I have so much left over, let me know.

I finished the 44″x 44″ bench in the middle first, it’s about 18″ high, which is good chair height for me since I’m only 5′ 6″. Next was the outer walls. The far outside perimeter wall was kinda hard to keep level and square, I kinda screwed up a bit, but no one will ever notice. That wall is 24″ tall and 10 feet wide by 12 feet long.

Bench building.
Thats where I sit.

I built another wall inside that outer wall to hold the planted zone in. It was 16″ tall and about 8 feet wide by 10 feet long, but this was my BIG mistake. I didn’t know it at the time, but folding a liner over top of that inner planted zone wall was going to be impossible.

I bought a 30 mil RPE pond liner from everythingponds.com that is suppose to be stronger and last longer than the rubber pond liner that people typically use. It was so hard to fold. I remember holding that thing above my head getting under the liner trying to fit it in the creases around each of those walls. It was a pain. I couldn’t get it to fold over the walls so I was compelled to cut it into pieces!

Cut folded and sealed.

I cut this thing into like 8 big pieces, and since this liner is heat welded together at the factory I thought I’d give that a shot. I bought a heat gun to weld the pieces to each other, folding the liner over top of the planted zone walls heating the underside of the liner and adhering it to the one below it, after I was done with all the welds I rolled some sealant over top of it all.

Confident that this pool is leak free I put in my bubble pumps, my gravel and my sand, even my plants. I ran the hose into the backyard and filled it with water.

Right away I noticed water was going down but, for some reason my pride was protecting me from the cold hard truth that this damn liner had a leak, several leaks!

I kept letting it fill up to the top, excited it was all finished I got into the murky water and splashed around with joy, only to wake up the next morning to about 6″ of water missing. So I filled it up again, thinking that maybe the pond is settling, but again my pride was protecting me from facing the failure of my pond liner job. That 6″ of water turned to 10″ then 12″ of water missing, finally after digging a hole beside the pond to see if any water was leaking I saw it.

Water was definitely leaking because that hole was filling up with water. Disappointment hit me like a ton of bricks. My stomach turned and I just went to bed to think about what to do next. In the morning I bought a pump to get the water out of there and started shoveling all the sand and gravel out of there, 2 tons of it.

Mopped it up and pulled it out.

It took all day shoveling it out, draining the pool, and mopping up all the water. The next day I had to clean up all the dirt because my plan was to reseal the liner with more sealant! I thought I could seal the leak with putty, glue and tape, so that’s what I did.

The following week I went over those welds I made with water proof glue, let it dry, and then went over that again with rubber paste twice, then finally, 2 coats of rubber sealant the same stuff I used the first time around. There was no way this thing was going to leak, but it did.

I threw in all the gravel and sand again, but left out the plants and filled it with water. I spent so much time sealing it, but I knew that if it leaked I would have to rip everything out. I didn’t think it would leak though so I wasn’t planning on that since I spent hundreds on sealing it again!

Well, the pool didn’t look like it was leaking so I started to add the plants again, but when I woke up in the morning, the water dropped so dramatically that I just became helpless.

I failed, again. Two times I filled this pool up and both times it leaked.

My dad told me to just fill it with dirt! I wanted to, but two set backs made me rethink the design entirely.

I was gonna tear out everything to have no 90 degree angles in the design so that the next liner wouldn’t be difficult to fold at all, but I settled on just removing the inner planted zone wall. If that wall was gone it’d be easier to fold the liner and I would just build that wall on top of the liner.

So after a few days of contemplating my next move I took a razor blade to the liner and ripped it out of there. It was such a surreal experience tearing out something I put so many hours into, but it had to be done.

Accept defeat and carry on.

After the liner was removed I needed to demolish the inner wall, and while I was doing that, I was thinking of “Tear down the wall, tear down the wall” some lyrics from Pink Floyd’s The Wall. There was some symbology there and again some wild feeling of destroying something that took so long to build. I had some profound insight in doing that. Maybe it goes something like, “pride can blind you”.

Whatever the insight is, so be it. I learned something from these failures that if I put it into words for you, it’d be somehow less of a lesson for me, so just have some empathy for guy who desperately wanted to finish a project but had to destroy it first to finish it. Or not, I’m not asking for your sympathy.

My calculation was correct though removing that wall, the liner folded over the other walls much easier, but there was a point where I thought it wasn’t going to work. I pressed on though, it had to work this time. After the fold was finished I put the over liner on top and filled in the little bench area with water to let sit for a day to see if it leaks again.

No leaks, so now I had to rebuild the inner wall. I was going to use cinder blocks again, but that would’ve taken too long so I just bought some 4×6’s from a lumber yard. I cut those and screwed them together to make an inner wall. I just didn’t notice that the wood would float!

Folding the liner still was hard.

I stacked heavy rocks I found in the yard onto the corners of it to weigh it down. It actually looks more natural that way. I proceeded to install the bubble pumps and the substrate layer in the planted zone to replant all the grasses and Irises. The next morning I was so scared to see if the water level dropped. I walked slowly to the patio and looked over the railing to see that the water held it’s level! ‘

The nightmare was over in that moment and the project is done. All I had to do is clean up the area around it, and decorate it with some gnomes. I accomplished a task after failing multiple times. If it were any other situation I probably would’ve stopped after the first failure, but I think it was the hole itself that made me not want to stop. I wasn’t going to leave a big hole as a reminder of my failures in my backyard. In the end my pride didn’t just get in my way, it helped me see the project through to the end.

She doesn’t go in, just around the edges.

I did realize a week or so after I finished the pool, that a soft wood like Douglas Fir will not last very long underwater. Good thing I didn’t choose.. oh wait.

Categories
Programming

How Writing Helps Your Learning

It’s true, some cats are allergic to you.

I’ve been learning how to program with Google Flutter, learning their Dart programming language, which is an Object Oriented Programming language, which practically means its code is built with objects. I haven’t been studying long, but it is still a lot to unpack coming from a background in web design. I’m used to understanding HTML and CSS, so learning how functions make buttons work, and how classes store objects that you can create to run methods is pretty advanced for me. So this is how I’m digesting all this new information, through blog posts I share with other beginners. 

Since my last post, Programming Until You Get Headaches, I’ve covered so much new information that I need to unpack into this post that I’m afraid I might skip something. I’m still studying under Angela Yu on Udemy and we started on the Quizzlr app she created for us to follow along with and it’s all new information about Lists, If and Else statements or rather, Conditionals, and finally Classes and Objects. All of this information is a lot to consume at once so I’m taking my time, but by writing how this makes sense to me helps me digest all the new information a little better.

Testing Memory of Lists

This is how a list looks in a class.

I’m going to try to explain how a list works. You start with the syntax List and follow it with data type in these carats <>, so for instance, List<String> represents a List of Strings, following that you can title the List. 

List<String> favoriteWords = [ ‘Triple’, ‘Flinch’, ‘Flounder’]; 

This creates a list of strings called favoriteWords that are Triple, Flinch and Flounder (These are the first words that come to mind). You can refer to this list in your app by just calling on it with a positional number in the list starting from 0. I’m pretty sure I’d have to create a variable to call on it. 

int wordNumber = 0

Now if I wanted to print a word from the List I’d have to call on it like so:

print(favoriteWords[0]); — this is calling on the index of my list in the 0th position, which is the first in the list, which is Triple. 

Damn, I’m just getting started with this, because in the Quizzlr app I’m building, it gets so much more complex by inputting a List like this into a Class. I’m not sure if I can unpack all of this, but I’ll try. 

if, else, else if and whatever else

Listen I’m not a pro, and if you’re here to learn from a pro then go to stackoverflow.com, you’re in the wrong place, but if you want to try to make sense of programming like I am, through the eyes of a beginner, you’re right on track. This is an example of an if else statement in this app:

if (correctAnswer == false){

print(‘user is right’);

} else {

print(‘user is wrong’);

}

This statement pretty much just passes a print statement to the console if the condition is true or false, here is a bit about Conditionals

Conditionals

Button pressed conditional statement in Quizzlr app

The == translates as ‘is to’, while the = translates as make left hand = right hand, eg. Kyle = boy. Double equals, == is for conditional statements. 

== is the condition and inside {go();} is the instruction:

if (track == ‘clear’){

go();

}

Some more syntax that can work:

!=   Is not equal to

>   Is greater than

<   Is less than

>=   Is greater than or equal to

<=   Is lesser than or equal to

Combine with comparators

&& AND

|| or

! Not

As I learn more about conditionals I’ll give you some practical uses, but this here is just an overview.

Classes & Objects

A Class is a blueprint. A class has properties like color; numberOfSeats; etc & it has methods like, drive(); break();

With Classes, variables are now properties, and functions are now methods.

class Car {

int numberOfDoors = 5;  — property

  void drive() {   — method

print(‘Wheels turning’);

}

}

Object of this class:

Car myCar = Car();

OOP – Object Oriented Programming

Abstraction – functionality with different components, more complex systems with smaller pieces with more defined roles

Looks like you can create classes that hold lists, and classes to construct the list. Kinda mind boggling. 

I’m in the middle of this module, so there is still more to unpack.

Categories
Note to Self

How To Travel In A Pandemic

Pandemic Traveling
Keep it together.

Like you, I thought about all the dangers of traveling before I made my decision to get on a plane. So this is how I made my decision. Like all big decisions I weigh the pros and cons. In my case, I was offered a free flight from Los Angeles to Philadelphia to go to Woodward Skate Camp with my good friends at Dogwood Skateshop. What that meant to me was fresh air, a break from reality, and a very cost effective trip. I compared all these great things to the pandemic. 

Pros & Cons

I don’t think anyone can tell you how to make a decision to travel, but it is your responsibility to feel like whatever your decision you make is the right one. There are some reasons why you shouldn’t travel, like if you are a naturally anxious person about your health, or you’re a hypochondriac. In this case I recommend you stay home if you’re just going to stress about covid the entire plane ride. However, if you’re a little worried but think that your trip will alleviate some stress then go somewhere relaxing. The chances of you catching covid if you’re a relatively healthy person and you take as many precautions as you can, are slim. 

A lot of the fear surrounding covid is toxic and is causing way too much stress which actually inhibits your immune system.

Breathe through your nose deeply.

Prioritize Relaxation

Vitamin D is so key.

Unless of course you are traveling because of an emergency, make sure you’re getting enough time to relax out in the sun. The sun should be one of your priorities, take your shirt off, soak in as much Vitamin D from the sun that you can without burning of course. Your immune system will thank you. Breathe in some fresh air too and drink some clean water. Remember the elements: Earth, Wind, Fire and Water. Put your feet in some soil, breathe fresh mountain air, soak in some warm sunshine, and drink some fresh spring water. Visit findaspring.com to see where your nearest spring is at. Not that I went and got spring water on this trip, but I wish I did, I just drank plastic bottled water. I don’t know what’s worse, plastic bottled water or tap water?

Be Grateful for What You Can Do

In the end, this trip is about getting out of your routine and being with friends. This is such a strange uncertain time that I can’t really be certain if I can have many more of these trips, I don’t like to think too dismally, but it’s hard to know for sure, so cherish what you have right now, and what you can do. Flights are cheap, if you’re far from your family and your friends go visit them, tell them you love them, because you don’t know if you’ll ever get the chance to do that in person again. Be safe and be prepared for any scenario. If you have comments, want to call me an idiot or something, leave them below or reach out to me on Instagram @kyleknob.

Categories
Note to Self

How to Be More Creative

Lot’s of the artists I admire have one thing in common: they all have their own unique style. Think about that, every artist that you look up to has very little resemblance to any other artist in their space, but yet I’m trying to be more like Warhol or Bowie or something. 

Making Art Is Over Rated

Making art is overrated
What to make?

When I do my best work, I’m not telling myself, I’m going to make art today. I’m letting myself succumb to the emotions I’m undergoing at that moment. My emotional state at any given moment translates through the art I’m making. So I’m not consciously telling myself to go make art, I’m allowing my emotions to be constructed into whatever medium I choose. So don’t make art, be aware of your emotional state and translate it. Don’t let that confuse you, I’m not saying don’t make art, I’m saying, make art that means something to you, not to who ever your potential audience is. 

The Difference Between Potential and Perfection

When I have a new idea in my head I envision it being flawless, and my expectation is set so high that when I start on that project I’m struggling with what I can physically create compared to what I’m mentally picturing. This expectation is the killer of creativity, I’ll stop myself right in my tracks after undoing one line I drew 3 times. 

Through years of dealing with these high expectations I’ve become so aware of the mental torture it causes that I just started drawing in whatever style comes naturally out of my untrained hand. The act of letting go is a spiritual practice, and before I start boring you with some spiritual reading I want to say that many of our expectations are built in the version of you that presents itself to others, or the ego. Once you can realize you have no control over how others view you, the creative mind opens up like a flower in spring. 

Be you
Let it go, you’re not anyone but you.

Your potential is not measurable, and perfection though it seems possible is never achieved. The sooner you can accept this, the more you will allow your creativity to run through you like the blood in your veins. 

Overcoming Criticism 

I will always be talking about overcoming criticism as an exercise to overcome it myself. Writing these blogs actually help me more than you think. I’m telling myself, “This is a practice of becoming more honest with myself and more open with others.”

You won’t be able to turn off the fear of showing your own art to someone, but you can learn to dance with it. I love this term coined by Seth Godin, the marketing guru. 

Dance with your fear, don’t run from it.

The idea is that the fear your feeling comes from part of your brain that is there to save us from being injured or killed in the wild by maybe a bear or a mammoth or something, but in this modern age where fear presents itself before public speaking or in this case sharing your art with a group or a friend, there’s no life threatening risks. Your brain might be making you feel like there are, but you’re misinterpreting what it’s trying to tell you. It’s saying, you’re uncertain of what’s about to happen because it might make you uncomfortable. 

Fear of Being Uncomfortable

You’re debilitating fear of being uncomfortable is controlling your progression. We all have dreams of becoming successful at what we love to do, and only some of us will make it according to how willing we are to be uncomfortable. Your progression really relies on listening to your brain when it feels scared and having the ability to tell it,

“Thanks for the alarm I will do exactly what you’re trying to prevent me from doing.”

I hope that after reading this you got some insight on how to be more creative. It’s not so hard but it’s a practice that I wish I started when I first began creating art. I still struggle with my creativity and you will too. This is just a reminder to you that everyone deals with the trouble of accessing their true style, techniques or voice. The great harbinger of art is listening to your fears and understanding how it corresponds with your ego. Until you find a good relationship with yourself and truly love your mistakes, you will be blocking the emotion needed to progress as a unique artist. 

Categories
Note to Self

Why I’m Allowing Myself To Be More Vulnerable

On my way to freedom, in this day and age

I’m on this journey for freedom, a lot like the epic tales I’ve heard of people escaping war torn lands across the world to come to America or something, but this is a more modern version of those stories. I’m seeking freedom in many alternative ways, like many of my friends are. I’ll start with financial freedom.

As soon as I get my bag, I’m fleeing LA

Financial Freedom

All of us have a relationship with money and if you’re like me, you’re so tired of hearing anything about investing, career paths, or the future of retirement. I told myself to live in the moment, focus on what I need now, and not dwell on where I’m at 40-50 years from now. Until the pandemic hit, I was riding this wave that was never going to crash into the shore, but that all changed.

This wave won’t crash.

The Pandemic Effect

When my brother was laid off from his work as a chef and I started to work from home, a profound sense of fragility weighed over us. I’m speaking of the uncertainty of employment, how extremely reliant I am on my job to pay me well enough to eat, pay rent, drive a car, and be connected to the internet. The alarm was going off in my head, “I’m not equipped to handle a catastrophe.”

I work in design and have the good fortune of being able to work from home, but my brother and roommate, is relying on unemployment to get him through this time. When “The News” said they were going to slash unemployment benefits by $600, it got real worrisome. At the time of writing this I think more than 30 million Americans are unemployed. That’s around 530 Dodger stadiums filled with people relying on benefits that are now cut, possibly losing homes and businesses with families to feed and debts to pay.

What the pandemic showed me was how incredibly vulnerable my life is. I’m so grateful to have done this and that in my past that brought me to this and that right now, however I’m still worried and I still can afford groceries!

These aren’t cheap.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to learn how others are making money online, working from anywhere so that I’m financially reliant on my capabilities not someone else’s. I need to try new things and make calculated business decisions that can get a product that’s in demand on the market and sell it, how to take an app idea, learn to develop it, and monetize it (readySketch), how to write quality content to drive readers to this blog, how to be myself in front of the camera to teach the skills I have in design, photo and video, and how to communicate my vision of the future that so many of my friends are striving toward, an off the grid, sustainable homestead.

Should I be doing this?

Freedom from Self Criticism

Up until now I ridiculed people for being personalities on YouTube or shooting selfies because of my own insecurities. A lot of us use our own insecurities to put someone down for doing something we wouldn’t do ourselves. I had a lot of self reflecting I’ve done because of the Pandemic Effect, so I needed to explore what I could possibly offer to you, the reader, that drives value to my content, and it was easy. 

I need to share with you my gifts of what I’ve learned in my unique circumstances, in my own way that differs from how others are sharing their gifts. Embarking on this comes with facing my fears of being on camera, being read enough, being important enough, being successful or disciplined, having a worthy point of view, being knowledgable enough, etc. There’s too many insecurities to name, and I’m certain I’m suppressing more than that. 

Getting Over “It”

I’m having a difficult time actually making the transition from work and procrastination to work and progressive action. I need to make the time if I am serious, and I am. I believe that I’ve ridden these waves far too long to not know how this current of mind flows. Discipline is key to the success of any project or business, and jeez, I lack it so badly. 

This is a much better use of my time.

Acknowledging you have a problem is the first step to solving that problem. I am a procrastinator. The discipline must first be enforced by myself, and I must trust this “higher self” that wants only the best of me, to guide me along on this uncertain, bumpy, exciting journey to financial freedom. 

Techniques to Practice Discipline

I’ve added a reminder to my calendar. You can do that right now, open your calendar app on your device and schedule something you want to remind yourself to do every day or every Monday (you got to ease yourself into it) and when that reminder pops up you’ll remember to get to work, or if you’re like me you’ll follow it for a few months and just ignore it for life until a pandemic or something catastrophic enough happens to eventually act on it. 

Another technique I’ve heard I think actually comes from Jerry Seinfeld, but I was clued in on it by my app development instructor Angela. Everyday you accomplish 20 minutes of the goal you set or more, you draw a line through the date of that physical calendar. You might have to buy a desk calendar, but if you’re serious about discipline you might as well. 

Buy a desk calendar right now.

You’ll be so inclined to continue to draw that line through the days that no matter how much you feel like procrastinating, you’ll want to do at least 20 minutes to continue drawing that line through the month. I’m just starting to do that now, so I’m no seasoned veteran of this technique, it just sounds good.

I’m gonna achieve this goal, because this snake I’m drawing must not end.

Chasing Freedom Must Be Fun

For me, if it’s not fun I won’t bother learning or making anything, so in order to get things done I create the fun. I must, no matter how mundane and brain consuming the tasks are,   

I must make fun of it some how, whether actually laughing at my own incompetence or just being absurdly creative with it. 

Fun must be fuel to achieve great things. It’s what gave me all the skills I have now, and what will give me everything new I learn from here on out. 

My advice to my younger self, or to you my reader, is to not allow your fear of being vulnerable to the public determine how you proceed through life. The people I admire are the most vulnerable, open, and disciplined people in the world.  I will not get to achieve the freedom I seek by being afraid of my own insecurities. Don’t be sorry to anyone for who you are.  

I hope that I can inspire you to follow your passions to fullest extent, I’m trying to inspire myself constantly. Remember to have fun, be resourceful, ask questions and be yourself. It’s easier said than done, but you will not be mad at yourself for trying, and if you’re disciplined and consistent, a few years from now writing blogs, making videos, learning new skills, you’ll be surprised by what you achieved.

If you want some help with your journey feel free to leave a comment below or reach out to me on Instagram @kyleknob